UNITED STATES—Money, it is the one thing most Americans strive to obtain in life. Why? With money it allows you countless opportunities whether it is the purchase of physical things or actual experiences, it tends to make life a bit easier. Yes, there will always be people who say otherwise, but at the end of the day, money allows you to pay bills, purchase things you like or want and eliminate financial stress which a vast majority of Americans deal with on a daily basis.
This column is not really about money, it is about people in your family thinking your money is their money. Yeah, that sounds ludicrous and crazy right? It does, but I assure you I have family members who think my money is actually their money and it boils my blood. I work hard and I mean I work hard for my money, and this has nothing to do with work ethic, it is about what I earn being used for a rainy day.
My money is not to be suited for you when you are lacking funds or struggling to stay afloat and the fact that you are depending on it makes the situation that much worse, to be honest. I cannot find anything more frustrating as a person having to account for extra money in your budget to handle other people’s bad financial habits.
This recently happened to me and I was not just annoyed, I let the family member have it because they assumed I would just take care of it without asking any questions. What if I wanted or had something bigger planned with the funds that I amounted over a period of weeks? Well, it doesn’t matter because I had to utilize that money to cover an expense that I did not account in my budget. The person was taken aback a bit by my response, but that is a direct result of me being too quiet.
Note to Americans: it is ok to tell people NO! They might not want to hear it, you may not want to do it, but if you don’t you’re going to have people who always think you’ll agree to whatever you throw at them. No. No, no, no, no, you just cannot always do that because when you do finally say it, it becomes a kerfuffle of emotions and reactions that you don’t expect.
Yes, you want family to know they can rely on you when needed, but they cannot always come to you all the time. Why? You are not going to live forever, you might have things planned for your future or you might make a big move cross country. So then what? That family member can’t just expect you to fly cross country to loan money if needed. They sometimes have to find a way to find a solution to their finances.
The thing that I find so fascinating is that you tend to give and give, but the moment you need someone to lend a helping hand to you, guess what, no one is around to help you. Everyone is dependent on you when it comes to money, but the moment you need them, they are absolutely nowhere to be found America.
Simply put you just have to lay down the hammer sometimes and stick to your guns. Nothing is more annoying than learning someone has or had money but failed to share that with you because they wanted to utilize their funds to do something else. That is a sure sign you’re being used and sometimes you just have to call a spade a spade no matter if the person wants to hear it or not.
Written By Jason Jones
