UNITED STATES—Sometimes you have to wonder why some family squabbles last for months, years or in some cases decades. I recently attended a family reunion, which I would argue it was more of a picnic and it was a treat to see family members that quite honestly I have not seen in years. It is a sad reality, but a reminder that life is too precious. People here today, may not be here tomorrow, even if our gut and instinct hints that they will.
Why can I say this? Well there were some family members there, and others who were not. Look things happen, and it is completely understandable. However, some people were not in attendance for silly stupid reasons. For starters, I have cousins who simply do not get along, and as a result, one decided not to show up.
That was the talk of the picnic, where is such and such? Did we get some answers? Not really and the answers that were given were excuses. Wait you didn’t come because you thought someone else was going to come that you have a tiff with? Are you freaking kidding me? Making the situation worse was the person my cousin was upset with, NEVER planned to come to the family get together to begin with.
You missed out on bonding and having laughs with family. Yes, it was hot as hell literally America. I’m talking 90 plus degree weather and it was humid as hell and just uncomfortable all around. I don’t like the heat, never have and never will. So as a result. I just decided to stay in the shade as much as possible and drink plenty of water to stay hydrated.
That was not the only squabble, another involved family members who had a wedding scheduled for the same time as the picnic. Why was that problematic? The date for the picnic was in the planning for months, nearly a year. So that wedding that had a sudden date change on the same day as the picnic was no coincidence. Unfortunately, I’m not aware of any family members that attended because about 95 percent were at the picnic.
There is much more going on there, but that is not my business to air family dirty laundry, but petty things were done and feelings were hurt. Apologies need to be made and a ‘Come to Jesus’ moment needs to transpire for the actual healing to begin. I guess the point I’m trying to make it is that I totally understand that squabbles happen within the family. I mean when has it not happened. That is the thing about family, as much as you love them, you can hate (I really despise that word), let’s rephrase it to frustrate you and stir emotions that only blood can do.
That frustration can boil over to arguments, sometimes fights and then ultimately separation. I don’t like the separation of family because God forbid something bad transpires and you don’t mend fences that guilt is going to eat you alive. Guilt is an emotion that is haunting especially when tied with family. So my point is have the difficult conversation. You may not want to have it, but having it can bring you some level of resolve.
You may not be best buddies again, but you’re not harboring those intense emotions that is dictating your life. Forgiveness is not so much for the other person, it is for you so that you can move on with your life. Family is family, you cannot change your blood relative no matter how much you would love to do it.
Written By Jason Jones
